Burglary affects the poor more than the rich

Alison makes a very valid point - all the studies show that the people most likely to suffer as victims of burglary (as well as other crimes) are those in the poorest sections of society.
Burglars are opportunistic (and often desperate) so tend to steal from their neighbours, who are least able to afford proper security on their homes let alone insurance. As such most cases don't get reported - they only show up in the crime surveys (which tend to be more accurate than official statistics).

The idea that burglars painstakingly target super rich mansions for elaborate heists is mainly the stuff of fiction - sure it does happen (the raid on Graff's is a classic case) but most thefts are petty, clumsy and vindictive.

Blessings for the poor - they have the most to lose.

Father Ignatius Brown

www.father-ignatius-brown.com

Autumn delight

Well our local Hodge has harvested his winter barley, the Swallows are lining the telegraph wires (telegraph sounds so much more romantic than telephone), the blackberries are ripening fast, and the puffballs are exploding where the dieing nettles have been cut - all in all I'd say autumn has arrived - and early at that, which suggests to me a long hard winter.

As such my thoughts turn to warming puddings - and my favourite is a simple dish that turns stewed fruit into a golden treat (as taught to me by my Grandmother when I was young).

Magic Topping
(Note: not safe for those with nut allergies)

Take:
4oz light brown sugar,
two fresh eggs,
4oz of ground almonds,
4oz of plain flour -
Whisk together until thick and creamy -
Spoon over dish of hot, lightly stewed autumn fruits, using a fork to lift the topping into peaks like a meringue, -
Pop dish back into hot oven until topping turns golden -
Serve with double cream and shortbread biscuits (see below).

Shortbread

Take:
9oz plain flour,
3oz corn flour,
8oz plain butter (melted over hot water),
4oz light brown sugar -
Mix dry ingredients then add melted butter stirring briskly -
Spread over large baking tray so no more than 1/2 inch thick -
Use warm knife to mark out biscuits before -
Placing in a hot oven and cooking for some 30-40 minutes until the biscuits are golden -
Remove from oven and mark biscuits again then leave to cool in tray (repeat marking if lines start to fade while biscuits are still soft).

Enjoy!

PS: You follow these guides at your own risk - no responsibility accepted for failure, injury or disappointment.

Some scientific puzzles aren't that puzzling...

I take issue with most of the supposed scientific puzzles in today's Telegraph article.

For instance:

There is no such thing as real altruism - even apparent saints only do good because it makes them feel better and, in their mind, takes them closer to god and salvation - as such you are better off considering all apparent acts of altruism as acts of enlightened self interest - which is perfectly within the scope of evolutionary behaviour.

Blessings for a more sceptical and scientific world.

Father Ignatius Brown

http://my.telegraph.co.uk/father-ignatius-brown

PS: Nose picking children rarely eat the gunk - most of the time they wipe it on the underside of their desk then stick their fingers in their mouth to clean them - the picking is obviously a form of personal grooming common to many apes.

PPS: Dogs go through adolescence - puppies are notoriously bouncy and moody - they just get over it quicker because their lives are shorter (their parents tend to be more understanding too).

QE - a Questionable Enterprise?

So people are worried that:"The Bank is in danger of damaging its credibility... [and] could arouse suspicion that [its] primary objective was the cheap financing of the Government’s debt...”

However, judging by most comments on these and other pages, this is not just a possibility - it has already happened.

In the eyes of the ordinary taxpayer the BoE now has zero credibility and is ONLY financing government debt to postpone the inevitable 8p plus tax hike until after the next election.

As for fighting inflation - that seems to be out of the window. In fact they appear to be desperately trying to inflate away both government and household debt! Presumably because they are terrified that too much reality will crucify our highly leverage lifestyle and so see inflation as the only way out.

Blessings for sanity and sustainable long term wealth creation.

Father Ignatius Brown

You don't even have to buy a dog - you can borrow one.

Further to my earlier post on how to get fit in 6-months; a friend has just contacted me to remonstrate that owning a dog is not always practical.

How true, they are like toddlers who never learn to use the loo. Yet like a toddler, you have to take them with you most of the time (since leaving them alone in the house for long periods is unfair on the dog) but you can't take them into most of the places where you could take a child.

So for those of you who work away from home, in offices or factories, for those of you who travel a lot or simply enjoy being inside the art gallery when it rains (rather than peering in through the pouring) there is an alternative. An alternative that gives you the benefits of dog ownership without the hassle and one that puts you in touch with the community around you.

It's called dog-borrowing. What you need is an elderly neighbour with a youngish dog that needs more exercise than the owner can give them. You volunteer to walk the dog at a set time every day. You get to meet the old owner, so they benefit from social contact with your youthful vitality - and you get to walk a dog without having to feed it or take it on holiday with you.

You benefit, the dog benefits and the owner benefits - what you might call a win-win-win situation (or as the dog would say, woof-woof-woof).

Blessings for good neighbours and loyal companions

Father Ignatius Brown

PS: The amazing thing is that it is so simple. In fact I would urge charities such as Age Concern to set up a "Share-a-dog" network. Such a system would help community cohesion by bringing together the generations (so reducing old age isolation) and it would help keep people and pets fit and healthy (socialising is good for your mental health).

Walking is better than jogging for Women.

Further to my post about how to get fit in 6-months, a certain Mr Hammer posted the following point on My Telegraph blog:

"I remember a boxing coach who reckoned that a brisk 3 mile walk, every day, would get you well on the way to being fit enough to go 3 rounds.Do a good stretching routine daily and with only 10 minutes a day, you will find all the joints in working order, even if you wake walking like Quasimodo."

I think Mr Hammer is quite right. Gentle stretching and brisk walking are all the body needs.

Whatever you do, don't run - not only does it look undignified but I am convinced that it is bad for your joints (and seems to encourage people to eat more).

Furthermore, I am convinced that jogging is particularly bad for women since, judging from many of the women joggers I see, it seems to make their buttocks bigger (when I would have thought the objective was to make the bum smaller). Walking gives women a trimmer figure.

Blessings for gentler times.

Father Ignatius Brown

How to get fit in 6-months

You could try this "Executive workout" regime for a mere 14-days, which sounds gruelling and quite frankly rather excessive, or you could try this: buy a dog and go for a brisk 1-hour walk with it every day, whatever the weather.

While on your walk you can listen to language training tapes on your portable tape machine (do they still make those?) or maybe listen to some Radio 3 on your portable radio - or maybe you do something with a dongle, a tweet and wifi shuffle - whatever takes your fancy. Or you could simply keep the noise to a minimum and look up and around you - listening for the noises of the world.

This is obviously best done in a beautiful park, or along quiet country lanes, over hills and dales - but any of the London commons will do. Plot a course that is as pleasant as possible - and, if you can, make it circular (rather than an out & back walk) since this makes it more interesting (for a change you can always revers the route).

If you are walking in town - take note of the buildings, particularly above the shop line, look at the trees (and if there aren't any, draft a letter to your council demanding they plant more).
Above all give yourself time to breath deeply and think (deeply if possible but let's just start with thinking, we don't want to rush in where angels lie in bed).

I can't promise you that you will be supper fit or look 10-years younger but I can be pretty certain that you will find the routine more pleasurable than balancing on a power ball and possibly easier to sustain, not just for a few months but for the next 10 years since both the dog and the walks will become part of your life in the way that pumping at some inanimate object never can.

Eat moderately, feel happy with yourself, talk to your dog (and your wife and children if you have them) and remember that: "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."

Blessings for a good day

Father Ignatius Brown

The semantics of landing a plane

In response to this article in the Times, Mark S made a valid point about whether we had "pulled out of a nose diver" or simply hit the ground. A number of posters failed to understand the distinction - so here is my explanation.

Which would you rather be in:
A) a plane that pulls out of steep nosedive, or
B) a plane that stops falling because it has hit the ground (hard).

For my money I would prefer A, since there is a chance that you can either keep flying or at least land safely. The alternative B does not bode well for the plane, the passengers or those on the ground.

For my money I think we might be in the early stages of a crash landing - we are skimming along the waters of the Hudson hoping are Captain can bring us to rest safely without the fuselage breaking up.

Blessings for a good Captain

Father Ignatius Brown